The Truth About Finding Love Again

For those who were singles, they might be very excited to start this year and meet new people and get attached in 2018. However, there may be some of you who are not quite ready to start dating again for various reasons. One of them could be due to a recent relationship failure. You may not be able to move on yet, or you’re still hurt.

Breakups are hard. When you’re going through it, it’s hard to imagine that one day you’d be okay, and that you would love again. The thought seems too far away.

Relationships are tough. Love can feel like a battlefield at times. There are many people who carry their emotional baggage from a bad past relationship for months, or even years. It’s completely normal to still think about why it has happened or even question whether you are the one to blame for the break-up. But it doesn’t matter. We can’t change the past.

From here onwards, I would like you to focus on yourself.

Take a step back and reassess your priorities. A lot of times in a relationship, we end up being molded into a person that suits our partner, which may not necessarily be our authentic selves. So a breakup is actually a good opportunity to see what’s important to you, which may put you on the right path in your next relationship.

Ultimately, being in a relationship is not about making yourself complete — you need to be wholly complete first before getting into a relationship. You can do this by doing more things that you enjoy doing. Take new classes, go on trips, or embark on activities you have always wanted to try — keep yourself busy.

You can’t put a timeline on it. Basically, you need to be honest with yourself — you’ll definitely know when you’re still mourning over the loss of a relationship, or if you’re over it.

When you are ready to date again, do remember that a relationship is built on mutual trust and respect. For a relationship to work there need to be gives and takes, acceptance, and adjustments. There is no right or wrong answer on being too clingy or needy. What someone thinks is ‘being needy’, another person may think otherwise. So, in any relationship, there needs to be a compromise from both parties. Having an open and honest communication for you to express how you feel is very important.

Ultimately, if your boyfriend loves you enough, and he wants you to be happy, he would meet you somewhere in the middle. Similarly, you need to be understanding and accommodating enough to meet him halfway, too.

I’m saying this to everyone who has had their heart broken — that you will move on, if you allow yourself time and take small steps forward to heal. It sounds hard, but I assure you that you can get over it and find someone whom you love, and love you back.